I've Lost My Anchor

'Don't bother, you stupid fuck, nobody gives a shit whether they hear from you or not.' That's what depression is telling me as I write this from my bed. But I'm pressing on regardless. It's been over four months since I started feeling depressed, only this time has been worse than any of the other… Continue reading I've Lost My Anchor

Sound Of The Day : Singing Ice

I haven't been able to listen to music recently. (Who would have thought depression could prevent me from doing that too?) But, I had the good sense to click on Jonna's Jintons Singing Ice video, a two hour long 'song' of growing ice creating otherworldly sounds. And folks...my soul for a while stopped trembling. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qd-CwJa1SHE

Thinking In The Dark : Birch Trees

There are certain trees I find myself gravitating towards – spruce, pine, oak and birch. When I was living in Sweden, there was one silver birch in particular that I'd pass on my daily walk in the forest, and which I felt a kinship with. I’d always stop and watch it for a while. More… Continue reading Thinking In The Dark : Birch Trees

Quotes Of The Depressed

It's been...a day. I wanted to write to you about several things today; a fountain pen, a poppet made of human hair the Finnish folk/black metal project Wyrd. But my trusted words failed me and left me spending much of the afternoon coiled around my pillow blasting myself with rays from my light therapy lamp.… Continue reading Quotes Of The Depressed

Music To Come Back To Life To

I wanted to tell you about this song three days ago, but every time I sat down to write about it, words failed me. They're failing me now. Thanks to my depression/medication stealing away my creativity, I'm finding it impossible to express myself. But, I really need to share the song Ei Kuule Emo Minua… Continue reading Music To Come Back To Life To

Words to My Fifteen-Year-Old Anorexic Self by Katie Metcalfe

The Book of Godless Verse

You are squashing a lone branflake against the side of your cereal bowl, as you sit on bedrest in a children’s psychiatric hospital. You must extract from the flake as much milk as you can. You’re sure the milk is blue top, the full-fat one, and you don’t want to ingest any of it because tomorrow is weigh day and gaining anything will mean you’re losing control and getting fat.

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I’m Not Ok

I'm quietly freaking out at the moment. I'm sick, sick to death of coming to the end of each day and asking myself, 'well, what was that for?' I've reduced my sertraline over the past two weeks, and while the fog has dispersed slightly, I'm still struggling to feel, I'm struggling to create, I'm struggling… Continue reading I’m Not Ok

Celebrate Samhain With Cave Mouth

To celebrate Samhain, my band Cave Mouth has released a new EP... a small pocketbook of folk horror and silver tongue sonnets. A dark fairy tale spiriting those away to enchanting landscapes of yore. Brimming with forest speak and incantations, wrapped up by the dead tree refuge. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cQZCOXqxEE But that's not all! We also have… Continue reading Celebrate Samhain With Cave Mouth

Interview : Artist Sigrid Rødli

When I first encountered the art of Sigrid Rødli, my life was bleak. Very little could lift me out of my pit of despair...but Sigrid's art managed. Her artistic style lifted my mood and her experimentation with different mediums nurtured my own curious and creative spirit. I soon found myself prompted to embrace art again,… Continue reading Interview : Artist Sigrid Rødli